Hit the Road

The things you see when you don't have a shot-gun!

Roy and me in our lycras ready to hit the road for a bit of exercise and eye-candy down by the river.

Old Mates

Haven't seen my old mate Brent Ladelle for quite a while and it was nice to catch up.

A good one...!!!

First time seX
............

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet and have a dinner with her parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.

He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!' The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.

The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'

The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a PHARMACIST.'

Kevin Rudd - Post Turtle

I reckon this says it all....

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, who's hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Kevin Rudd and Labor being elected by a mass of media led, brainless liberals to be our Prime Minister.

The old farmer said, "Well, ya know, Rudd is a 'Post Turtle'". Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was. The old farmer said, "When you're driving down a country road on you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle".

The old farmer saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, and he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with".

Rudd is all spin and no substance and some day people will realise, when he has sent this country broke and when they are paying exhorbitant prices for everything because of Rudd's ETS, what an incompetent he really is. By then it will be to late.

Drying Out

Drying Out
Originally uploaded by Just1Thing

Went for a day out with Tip to Taree on the Mid North Coast and while he went and visited his clients I spent a couple of hours investigating some of the coastal villages I'd often flown over but never been to.

Out at Harrington I came across a very pleasant looking pub right on the river and nearby, a boat ramp with a flock of Pelicans drying their wet feathers.

I had this photo enlarged and framed and entered it in the Great Lakes Art Society Exhibition at Forster in October 2009. It won the Viewer's Choice Award.

Charlie Gets Mobile

Not content with being shown up by the Old Man, Charlie headed off to Anaconda and bought a new Fluid Richochet bike, complete with hydration pack and all the mod cons.



So today we were off on our first ride together ... the Bridge to Bridge loop which is about 11 kilometres in total. A great day for a ride and plenty of eye exercises along the way. Charlie didn't have to walk up any of the steep hills like I did (there are only a couple of short ones) but I'm keeping him away from Mitchell's Pass for a while yet.

The Nepean Bridge to Bridge route as per our Qstarz Data Logger...

Justice for King Kyle!

 

Only the Aussies will appreciate the irony here.

While cleaning out the bird cage I grabbed a sheet of newspaper, and without looking at it, laid it on the floor of the cage. I normally use sand but didn't have any handy. However as I laid out the page the article struck me as very appropriate. King Kyle, that overpaid, arrogant and talentless moron, will be the recipient of my Cockateil's little deposits for the next few weeks.

Very fitting I reckon!

Getting more adventurous

 

I've missed a couple of days due to wet weather so this morning I reckoned I needed to make up for it. This is despite my stress test on Monday which I handled a lot easier, due no doubt to the riding last week.

Anyway today I ventured out and skipped the coffee at the Chatterbox and headed for the M4 bridge and rode down the eastern side of the river and via Victoria Bridge back home. I've never been along the pathways on the eastern side of the Nepean but there is a walking/cycling track from the M4 bridge down almost to the Log Cabin. Some nice scenery too, and not just the young ladies on their morning walk!

I came back via Zokoko where I had a sensational coffee, chatted to the ladies, and grabbed a couple of packs of fresh roasted beans.

Total today almost 12 kilometres and the old hip feeling the workout. Tomorrow I'll take the camera.

Only the Good Die Young

 

Just a couple of weeks after I caught up with my old school mate Garth Robinson, I received a call out of the blue from another old chum, Chris Pettit. I'd seen Chris at a Pittwater High School reunion about 6 years ago so it was nice to hear from him.

But Chris told me that another of our old mates, Geoff Sheehan, had succumbed to skin cancer just a few months ago. This was a great shock as Geoff had been a great friend and although we'd not touched base for about 12 months I had no idea he had passed on. We would catch up every year or so and Geoff was always caught up in some high profile venture, the last being involved with the Packers in Vanuatu online gambling.

Geoff was a real character and his claim to fame was when he was a fighter pilot in the RAAF at Williamtown, he was on a low-level sortie along the coast down to Nowra in a Maachi jet. Of course his track took him past our old hometown of Newport so, as he flew past at about 200 feet he decided to buzz the guys at the Newport Arms. He did this not once but a couple of times and he did the same thing the next day.

The RAAF were not amused so he was given the option, fly a desk for a couple of years or resign. Geoff being Geoff decided to pursue another career so it was with sadness that he clipped his own wings.

By the way, as Chris tells the story, Geoff had a skin discolouration which, like most blokes, he didn't get checked out. When it was finally diagnosed as cancerous he lived just 2 weeks. There's a warning there.

A Nice Day for a Ride

 

Well I've been up and riding every morning this week and managing longer distances each day. The City to Surf was held this morning so I decided to do my bit and attemp a longer ride today. I took the data logger which maps the route and even has the speed and altitude although I can safely say I didn't reach Flight Levels on this ride... maybe next week.

The old hip knows it is getting a work-out but it feels a lot better during the day and I'm hopeful my 6-monthly stress test tomorrow will be easier. Each 6 months for the last 7 years I've declared that I will exercise before the next one so it won't be so tiring but I never do it. So tomorrow will be interesting.

What's Next? Lycra!

 

Ok... so I haven't ridden a bike for almost 15 years, I haven't worn sneakers for at least 5 years and I need a hip replacement (and a few other replacements!) ... but ... at 58 I am determined to get fit enough to be able to stay out of the NSW Hospital system for a few more years and to be able to bounce my grand-children on my knee some day. So this is my new bike (thanks to the encouragement of Tip) and I'm off on my first ride down to get the mail.

Liz is sceptical of course but she's dreading the time that I might drag on a new set of lycras. Stay tuned.

In the meantime I'm gonna try and get Ben and Roy into the saddle!

A Blast from the Past

A couple of days ago I received a message on Facebook from a bloke who I haven't seen for 40 years. Garth Robinson was my first friend when I went to Newport Primary School in 1957. We were best mates all through those school years and when we finished High School in 1969 we drifted apart.

Over the years I often wondered what had become of Garth and I tried to locate him through the net but never had a clue where he was or what he was doing... until 3 days ago when I received a message through Facebook. I don't hang out on Facebook but a few of my details are there and Garth only joined it a few days before and when he entered the name of his old school, lo and behold there was my name.

I must confess it was a pretty emotional moment when, after a few emails back and forth, I heard his voice on the phone after 40 years. We have a lot to catch up on and the bonus is that Garth's sister Gail and Liz were good friends during school. So a big meetup is planned and no doubt we'll spend more than a few hours filling in 40 years.


Garth and his son Konrad - Taken the day after we made contact after 40 years!

Gran Torino

I've just finished watching Clint Eastwood's latest movie Gran Torino. He acted in and directed the film and they say it is probably his last acting role.

The film is a giant leap from the Clint of old days when Dirty Harry sorted out the hoodlums and crims with his trust 44 magnum or the un-named stranger in the westerns who could outdraw anyone.

Gran Torino is a strange kind of vehicle for Eastwood to finish on as it has a surburban setting and feel and I couldn't help wondering what was the point of it all. Maybe it is his way of saying that we all get old and can't do the things we used to do, like blow away a couple of neighbourhood hoodlums who terrorise him and his new Hmong neighbours.

In the end, Clint confronts the gang and is filled full of lead in a blaze of machinegun fire. His motive was to let them kill him in front of witnesses so they could be arrested and charged with his murder. It doesn't have quite the same impact as "Well punk, do you feel lucky?".... click... boom!

But once again Eastwood has added another phrase to our everyday language... "Having a Torino Moment". I have them all the time!

58 Not Out!

Almost 6 years ago to the day I was in Nepean Hospital being pumped full of drugs in an attempt to stave off a heart attack. Well I survived that one due to the skill of a wonderful cardiac surgeon Dr Mark Cooper and despite some problems in the meantime, diabetes and needing a hip replacement, I made 58 a week ago.

We just had a quiet family lunch at the newly opened Coffee Club down by the Nepean River. As I say, Every Day You Get Vertical Is A Good One!

The Lowest Point in Australian TV History

I hardly know where to start this and I have purposely put off writing this because I have been absolutely filthy over the Chaser stunt involving the Make a Wish Foundation.

If you don't know what I am talking about then it's best you remain ignorant of the issue as it is the lowest point in Australian TV history and that's not just my assessment of the segment which went to air on the ABC a couple of weeks ago.

After the usual TV executive bullshit and spin, the CEO of the ABC Mark Scott has finally demoted... yes demoted but not sacked ... Amanda Duthie, the head of ABC Comedy. In my opinion, and that of thousands of other Australians, she and the whole Chaser team of morons should be sacked and publically shamed at every opportunity. To make kids with terminal illness the subject of a so-called satirical skit is in the worse taste but what amazes me even more are the morons and half-wits who support the Chaser and in particular the skit in question. It really says something of the society we live in today.

I know this sounds cruel but I really hope Duthie and the Chaser idiots contract a terminal illness... then lets see if they think that's funny.

Sanity Prevails after Public Outrage

Well after weeks of public outrage, Nicola Roxon and the bureaucrats in Canberra have finally come up with the measly few bucks to send Pauline to the US for her life-saving operation. It's amazing what a bit of public stirring in the right place can do and I know Alan Jones on Sydney radio station 2GB and some of his colleagues have been serving it up to the government over this issue.

So Pauline now has a chance at life and our thoughts and prayers are with her.

On a sadder note, Jane, a close friend of sister Wendy has been battling ovarian cancer and the latest reports are that it's finally in the terminal stages. We have never met Jane and Peter who hail from New Zealand but our thoughts are with her at this time. Life is cruel sometimes so make the best of it.

The Rudd Government - Heartless Bastards!

How is this for being heartless bastards! Kevin Rudd (our globe-trotting, big-noting under-achiever) and his government, especially Health Minister Nicola Roxon, have virtually condemned a lovely lady to death. They can throw millions at other countries, most of whom hold us in contempt, yet they can allow this beautiful young lady to die because of a few dollars.

Here's the story... you make up your mind....

"SAVE my life" - those are the words 36-year-old Pauline Talty hopes will touch the heart of Federal Health Minister Nicola Roxon.

Ms Talty has been told her application for an overseas bowel transplant - an operation yet to be successfully performed in Australia - does not meet the Federal Government's requirements.

Now she fears she will die in hospital, her home for almost 12 months.

What More Could a Bloke Want?

I really wanted to get something special for Charlie for his 21st birthday present. Something he would always remember, something that would always remind him of his 21st and something that he would look at and remember an important period in his life.

So, after much deliberation, I bought him his own chainsaw. He loves helping out cutting the wood for winter and although I have an old chainsaw he uses, there's nothing better for a bloke to have his own special piece of equipment.

 

He loves it!

The Woodcutters

 

The expert team of Woodcutters sorting out Ben's backyard.

Dave - Roy - Tip and Charlie.

RNSH Chapel

The lastest news in this city, and no doubt it will make the news across the country, is that some idiot at Royal North Shore Hospital has decided to be politically correct and has had all the symbols of the Christan faith removed from the hospital chapel, which was built in 1968.

Apparently this was so as not to offend other faiths. Well even the muslims have called the removal stupid and they have no issue with the chapel being a Christian chapel. But there will no doubt be some religious bigots around town who support the move.

Health Minister, the incompetent John Della Bosca, came on the radio and announced he would call for some committee to look into the matter and that everything was being done to keep everyone happy... blah blah blah.

How about this for a solution Minister.... after all, you have the power, or is it that you are as ineffectual as every other Minister in this State government? You personally call the CEO of RNSH and simply say "Put the crosses and other stuff back." If the CEO utters one word of complaint or even says anything other than "yes Minister" then Della Bosca's next sentence should be ... "If they are not back by tomorrow morning then you look for another job... goodbye!" Thats the way Ministers SHOULD run their portfolio.

Don't hold your breath.

Happy Australia Day

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.

So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'.

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.

'O.K., thank you,' said the American.

He then travelled all across America, Europe, England, Japan,New Zealand. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '$US10,000 per call' sign under it.

The American, decided to travel to Australia to see if Australians had the same phone.

He arrived at the Gold Coast, in Australia and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '40 cents per call.'

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Father, I've travelled all over the world and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them price was $10,000 per call.

Why is it so cheap here?'

The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Australia now, son - it's a local call'.